Bei Ying

n.

 

1.  Mandarin word for the back image of a person

2.  a feeling or cause of gloom or unhappiness (that is to me)

3.  one of Ahia’s short skit in the 80’s, which also starred Mom (if you would believe)

 

While stopped at an intersection driving to work this morning, I came across a mother sending off his grade school son to the school that is diagonally across the corner where they both parted ways.  I noticed the mom watched his son cross the intersection until he disappeared off her sight.  It reminded me of the bei ying moments I had with my family.

 

When I was in Grade 2, Nat was in Grade 5.  She always stayed in my classroom until the bell rings.  She would then go to her class and would keep looking back at me.  And I would look at her until she disappeared.  We did that about everyday.

 

Everytime I would leave Taiwan after visiting Ahia & Dich, Ahia sends me to the airport.  He would stay with me until boarding and we would keep looking back at each other until either of us was gone.

 

On my family’s first visit to Canada after we migrated, we spent our last breakfast at Tim Hortons before they all went back to New Jersey.  Sherwin and I watched them drove off until their van was no longer visible.  Mom said, they also were looking back at me and Sherwin as we were walking back to our condo.  Of course, that was with matching crying a bucket of tears.

 

While we still lived in Oshawa and Sherwin worked in Oakville, I sent him to the train station everyday.  I would look at him until he got into the train, he would look until I drive away, and we would wave goodbye at each other one too many times.

 

We don’t do that anymore now.  Well… maybe just not as dramatic, because I find that everytime we both leave for work in the morning, Sherwin still waits for me to drive away a distance before he drives away in the opposite direction. 

 

You can say we have a thing for bei ying, hence the feeling of gloom it brings, because I really miss my family.  There is yet another bei ying moment waiting to happen should we meet again.

 

 "Tandang-tanda ko pa noong ikaw’y papalayo; tinitingnan kita, hanggang wala ka na."

-  Nonoy Zuniga's Kumusta Ka