Just Let Them Be

On one Babycenter.com article I was reading today, I came across a parent’s comment on why most parents think their child is gifted, which I find truly inspiring and timely in a competitive world we live in today, and I quote:

 

“I don't think parents who question other parent's assertion that their children are "gifted" are rude or juvenile. I think they are responding to a culture of competition and excess, one that does not spare children or even toddlers. I think some parents are so caught up in the wonder of their own children, are so separate from the wide range of child development and want so desperately to have an exceptional child, they will dance over hot coals to insist their Sally's off to Harvard at 2. Both my brother and I tested "gifted" in public school, both were sent to enrichment/gifted stream programs and we're both happy, well adjusted people with good jobs and great lives. Funny thing - both our parents are bright, articulate and interesting human beings with great parenting skills. And my child? Well. Master genius of the universe of course : )) Just keep reading, dancing, playing with bugs and going to galleries. Live your own fantastic, interesting, "gifted" life and right as rain, your little wonder will follow on beside you. I try to ignore most of this stuff, knowing from experience that the kids who make good at the end of the day are the kind ones, the ones that learned to play fairly with true joy and work hard. The ones who were flashcarded, pressured, driven nearly insane by activities, extra-curricular tutoring, language classes, dance recitals, music classes, drawing studios...well. They either rebelled and dropped out, became strangely average or ate their idiotic parents [who were]cooked in a divine wine reduction.”

 

Another parent wrote:

 

“Let me just say this - I was/am gifted. I suprised my mom one day by reading Dr. Suess Mulberry Street. But I have to say this to the "gifted toddler acceleration" debate. Let the kids be kids. You get such a short time in this world to be interested in the intricacies of flowers or the cracks in the sidewalk. Capitalize now on the fascinations that your child will soon be too old to really appreciate. Save the alphabet flash cards for later. That is what I will always thank my mother for - sharing the wonders of the world with me and sparking my exhuberant curiosity in all things. And believe me, you can't possibly be unqualified to teach any 16 month old. A 5 year old can teach a 16 month old, not the same things you will, but things you couldn't. Just enjoy your children. That will be what they would remember.”

 

As I would often say, “to each its own.”  Just let them be!

 

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On a parallel note…

 

Shortly after Stefan had established his routine on his first year, there were no cuddling and lulling necessary to make him sleep.  We were able to just put him down on his bed in his own room and he would fall asleep by himself.  These days, he wants somebody by his side until he falls asleep.  It bothered me for a while thinking that the discipline I have inculcated went down the drain just like that.  But now – what the heck – let him be!  I have sworn to just enjoy those moments in bed with him, talking about his day, making him fly with my legs, riding on his pretend bus, laughing, hugging and kissing, …

 

For he will be a kid only once in his life and mine.