Saturday was the last swimming class of Stefan, and today the last of soccer. These past days have been marked “the last of” everything in bits and pieces. Stefan has been visiting the SK class this week before he officially starts next week. I am also at the last days of my year-long maternity leave as I am returning to work, also next week. Struan has already started daycare to ease us back to the routine. The first days dropping him off have been excruciating for me. I had to leave immediately after a quick goodbye to a crying wawa little Struan. It tore me to pieces.
It's been quite a change coming back home. I’ve got time on my hands again. I had the luxury to whip up something better for lunch than what normally were boring, if not leftover, dishes. Also, I could not just breeze each room and every floor of the house, but sit and tackle every nook and cranny. I have so far organized every bedroom, cleaned the bathrooms, fixed broken toys, washed the curtains and blinds, changed the bedsheets (finally!), gave myself a pedi, etc. That’s a lot in just a few days. Although at some point, I would think I have forgotten to clip the monitor on my clothing to hear if Struan is awake or he’s crying, then I come to my senses… he isn’t home.
Just when you wish days would go by fast, these days went slow. It almost killed me.
Sherwin worked from home today. He asked, “are we having lunch out to celebrate our freedom?“
“I’m still mourning.”
Separation anxiety. Who has it?
And I'm back to doing the laundry again :)
ReplyDeleteyup moms have more separation anxiety... it is crushing to leave your child to someone else. I leave mine to my mom and it still crushes me.
ReplyDeleteshared by Diane... Nice!
ReplyDeleteOn Children by Kahlil Gibran
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let our bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.
http://www.katsandogz.com/onchildren.html