No Interruptions

Our typical eat-out

Sherwin and I went out for lunch without Stefan today for the very first time since he was born.  He was at daycare, exactly where he was supposed to be.  And within that time, so were we.  Getting out of the house and in to the car without having to strap Stefan onto his carseat alone felt liberating.  Typical actions we do often that we take for granted, that without responsibility at that moment, felt really good to do for the very first time.  Taking advantage of his absence made us look and feel like mice running out to play while the cat was away. We rarely had a meal as quick and quiet as we had today.  The first time we could order all the spicy dishes our palate can take, not having to have corn soup instead of the tastier hot & sour soup, and not having to give up my spring roll for the wee little one who loves it.  More importantly, we were able to have good conversation with the great meal with no interruptions.

 

Today is Stefan’s first long day at daycare.  Dropping him off was pretty easy.  He didn’t refuse to stay, neither did he hold on to me to make me stay.  The hard part was driving back home and realizing he was okay while I was not and that the one who would have the separation anxiety after all was me, and not him.  For the past weeks I was preparing the family for this transition - the change in routine and schedule - but I guess, there can never be enough preparation for the emotional transition.  I was never seperated from him for the last three years, so – trust me - this is not going to be easy for me.   

 

I am not used to being at home without Stefan.   He keeps me on my toes all the time.  Now all of a sudden, the tasks I would normally do all day long vanished with him.  I didn’t have to go up and down to check on him, to keep wiping the floor so he can walk barefoot, to read him books one after another as he would often demand, to pick up his books he lays on the floor all the time, to constantly check if he’s on his bed for nap or if he has already sneaked out of his room, to prepare his meal and snacks, and the many other things I do for and with him.  With time on my hands now, I can finally do my laundry, wash the dishes from breakfast, watch the morning shows I haven’t watched in a long time, read the books I got from the library, water the grass, prepare ingredients for dinner, send out resumes for job application, check email, write on my blog, and do other house chores… this time with no interruptions.

 

Shortly after I get done with all these, he’ll be home and he can have my time and attention, with no interruptions, too.